Addicted
by poisoncadence
Summary: Eli and Clare haven't seen each for five years, and they meet again in a NYC coffee shop. There problem is they're both addicted to something...and its not just each other.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Five reviews to update.**

**Eli's POV**

My whole life had been pain. Julia, Clare. The two blessings in my life taken away. I killed my

girlfriend. I lost the love of my life because I was a freak. Now I had a problem with pills. I just

kept fucking up. My therapist told me it would be better not to see Clare ever again. But here I

was, looking right at her. I was in New York, almost done with college for journalism. I was in a

small café, a nice little place where I could pop my pills in my mouth without being worried

about getting stared at. The coffee wasn't bad either. My textbooks sat in front of me, full of

bookmarks and homework notes. Clare's curls were wet from the light rain outside, her bright

blue eyes alert, but calm. I watched her order coffee, how she smiled at the waiter. Not a

flirting smile, as no doubt he wanted it to be, but a gentle smile. The smile I loved. Her pale

complexion hadn't changed since high school, her cheeks still flushed, and her lips were still full

and smooth. Her cheeks were hollowed, was she eating enough? Why did I care? She had left

me, kicked me to the curb. Get over her, Eli. Should I stay? Act like I never saw her? I heard my

old therapist in my head. "Move on, Eli. You can't keep running from your problems." But I

wasn't running away, I was always running towards. I would not go through that pain again. I

shoved my books into my bag, ignoring Clare. I stuck one book, my favorite, under my arm and

walked towards the door. I was distracted, passing Clare's table, and that was why I didn't

notice the man in front of me shove his chair back. We smashed into each other, my book

falling to the ground. Someone picked up my book and handed it to me. I looked up into Clare's

startled eyes.

**Clare's POV**

The rain in New York was depressing. Cold, hateful. Like I am. I dived into a small café to

get out of the rain. It wasn't like I would eat anything. I weighed 97 pounds. 97 pounds. 97

pounds too much. I was fat, and ugly. My waiter stared at me, smiling too much, probably

unsure how to act around someone so ugly. I smiled back a little, ordered a coffee I wouldn't

drink. But it would be warm, and I was always freezing these days. I had a book of my favorite

poetry hidden under my jacket, tucked inside to stay dry. It was a collection of poetry by H.P.

Lovecraft. I fidgeted in my seat, I felt like someone was watching me. I stared intently at the

table, trying not to be noticed. I heard a bunch of noises all at once. Someone had fallen to

the ground, his book lying open on the floor. I picked it up for him, intrigued by the title. The

Peaceful Pill Handbook. Maybe it had something for laxatives in it. I looked up to hand the book

back to the man, and stared into emerald eyes I would never forget. Eli's.

**A/N Five Reviews to update!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Sorry I haven't been updating guys. I had to stay at my sisters house awhile and my mom has been monitoring my account because she doesn't want me to write.**

**Eli's POV**

I swallowed. Smooth, Eli. The little cynical voice in my head said. I took the book from her hand and slowly pulled myself up, ignoring the man's apology. Clare looks different. Still gorgeous, but she looked skinner. Way skinnier. I tensed myself as if I were about to get hit. I knew the pain that Clare could cause…but right now she looked so innocent. "Eli." Clare said, and her face flushed. Her sapphire eyes glittered. I stood there like an idiot. I had no idea what to say. Clare smiled, and my heart tugged me forward, trying to pull me to her. Pain filled my chest. Shit. I fumbled for my pills. After Clare and I had broken up the doctors found out I had a heart condition. I had heart palpitations. "Clare." I finally managed to say the name that my mind shied away from since high school. The name caused so much pain. She smiled wider. "How about you sit down and we can talk? It's been a while." She said this so casually. Did I ever mean anything to her? And yet I couldn't say no. I never could say no to her. I numbly pulled the chair out and sat down, my hands shaking. What was I doing? This could only end with me getting hurt. But, as my therapist had told me, I had a tendency to do self-destructing things.

Clare clutched her coffee. Was she cold? Why did I care? She had ditched me. "So. Um, how are you?" I asked, averting her eyes. I looked at the cracks in the ceiling as the raindrops pelted the roof. I shouldn't be doing this. "I'm okay." Clare said. My eyes went to hers immediately. There was something in her voice that was breaking, the same desperate lying voice that Clare had used in high school. She said it the exact same way she had used to tell me she was fine, when her eyes screamed anguish. Her blue ocean eyes looked just as sad as they had then. "Are you sure?" I whispered. I couldn't help it. Why did I still care? Why couldn't I just let her go? Her eyes changed. They were suddenly guarded. I had said the wrong thing. "Yes. I'm sure." She said, trying to make her voice cold. Clare could never pull off menacing. She looked down at the table. "So, what about you? What are you doing in New York?" Clare asked me. My voice was monotone when I answered. "Part time college for my masters in English lit. Writing. What about you?"

"Well, I think I'm done with college. I'm probably just going to get a job teaching elementary kids somewhere. But you're writing, that's great. What are you writing?" Clare spoke quickly, and her eyes gleamed. She seemed relaxed. "Uh, just a novel." I said. "Are you going to teach back in Toronto?"

Clare's eyes darkened, storm clouds covering the perfect skies. "No, no. Probably down here somewhere."

The rest of the conversation didn't matter much. We talked about boring, trivial things. Our new lives. Neither of us had gotten married, something that baffled me. 'Well,' I thought, 'it's fate.'

As Clare talked a little bit more about her life, her new apartment, how she had finally gotten a cat, and how much she missed Fiona and Adam, something blossomed in my chest. It was a permanent, solid thing. It didn't matter if I didn't want it to happen, my emotions couldn't stop it. In just a few minutes, I had fallen head over heels in love with Clare Edwards again. And there was nothing I could about it.

**AN: A little short. Sorry guys, my house has been chaos. Imma try to update once every week. J for more Eclare! Should the next chapter be at Clare's house (rawr)?**


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